What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
