i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
