I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
