Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
