Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
