Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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