Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
