Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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