if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
