You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
