I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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