You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
