I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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