So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
