he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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