return my video game
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
