I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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