woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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