instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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