whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
