who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
