Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
