This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
