either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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