i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
