it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
