i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
