some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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