just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
