Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
