Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
