i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
