Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
