I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
