There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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