it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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