So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize