This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
