i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
