break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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