so that wasnt chicken after all
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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