i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
