how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
