You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
