I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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