Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
