Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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