I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize