My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize