right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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