mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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