is your mom at the bar?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
