I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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