Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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