i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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