As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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