He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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