the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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